The mirror reflects objectively.

What does it mean to be a "mirror" to others in the context of Muslim brotherhood?

Our noble Prophet Muhammad ﷺ possessed a remarkable ability; the ability to convey profound meaning with few words. You will find volumes and volumes of books explaining small statements of the Prophet ﷺ because of the guidance and inherent richness of these statements, and I want to share with you such hadith inshaa Allah- the powerful metaphor of the believer as a mirror to their fellow Muslim.

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن رسول الله ﷺ قال: الْمُؤْمِنُ مِرْآةُ الْمُؤْمِنِ

The Prophet ﷺ said: “A believer is the mirror of his fellow believer.” [Abu Dawud]

This hadith consists of three words, yet there is so much that can be said about it. The Prophet ﷺ is teaching us in this hadith, how we should be with each other. And he said, “You are like a mirror to your brother.” How so?

First and foremost, the hadith underscores our interdependence. If you go to every single home of your friends and families, you will find a mirror. This tells us that we need mirrors. Similarly, we need each other. What is the function of a mirror? You look at it and it reflects back who you are. It shows you your defects. It tells you what you need to change about yourself and this is how the believer should be with each other, we should be able to tell each other if there is something wrong. Just like we rely on mirrors for self-reflection, we need each other for guidance and support.

The mirror analogy goes further. We trust the mirror, so we should trust ourselves as well. When you look at the mirror, it doesn’t only show your defects, it also shows the good in you. If you look nice, the mirror will tell you. And if there is something to rectify, something you need to clean, it will also tell you. The mirror tells the truth, so we should tell the truth to each other. The mirror doesn’t judge, so we shouldn’t judge each other. The only way a mirror will tell you correct information about yourself is if it’s clean itself. When you look in the mirror and it’s dirty, not polished, you won’t find a correct reflection of yourself. This is why we clean it first. We need to be clean in our hearts if we want to reflect good towards our Muslim brothers and sisters.

The mirror doesn’t exaggerate the truth, so we shouldn’t exaggerate as well. We should neither overpraise each other nor should we lie to each other. The mirror doesn’t discriminate, neither should we. The mirror reflects objectively. Similarly, our advice to each other should be sincere and based on genuine concern for our brother's well-being.

Advise your muslim brothers and sisters. If there is a character they should change, you should be brave enough to tell. And if someone comes to you and tells you, the same way you wake up in the morning and your mirror tells you that you need to brush your teeth or you need to remove something from your cloth or face, you don’t hit it with a hammer, you accept it and you recitfy yourself. If your muslim brother or sister comes to you and tells you “brother, sister, I have seen this thing about you, I advise you to change it.” You should be able to say “thank you”. You should be able to look towards yourself. Our reaction when we stand in front of the mirror is to rectify ourselves, to correct ourselves, to clean ourselvers, we should be like that with each other. No one looks back at the mirror and says “no, no, actually, it’s you that is wrong.” We don’t do that and we shouldn’t be like that with each other.

The mirror doesn’t tell others about what it sees, it doesn’t speak. You shouldn’t tell others about the defects of your fellow muslims. The mirror reveals only when you are standing in front of it. Similarly, if there is a fault in your fellow muslim and you wish to correct it, say it in front of them. Don’t talk about it once they leave. Just as a mirror keeps what it sees private, we must guard the confidences of our brothers and sisters. Don't gossip or broadcast their faults. Remember, the purpose of advice is correction, not public shaming.

Advising each other is something that we must do, it is part of brotherhood in Islam. Allah ﷻ says:

إِنَّمَا ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌۭ فَأَصْلِحُوا۟ بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ

“The believers are but one brotherhood, so make peace between your brothers. And be mindful of Allah so you may be shown mercy.” - [Al-Hujurat: 10]

We are a brotherhood and we need to advise each other. And sometimes, when you are advising, you might say something to your fellow muslim that they might not want to hear, or someone might say to you something you do not wish to hear. And because you don’t want to hear it or say it, doesn’t make it false. Don’t become defensive, be genuine in wanting to better yourself. Your fellow muslim that comes to you and tells you something that you can perhaps improve on yourself is better than the one who ignores you. Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah be pleased with him, made a beautiful statement which was inspired by the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ. He said:

“A believer to another believer is like two hands, one washes the other (correcting each other).” - [Majmū al-Fatāwa | 53/28]

Sometimes, removing dirt requires you to be a bit rough and no matter how hard you scrub, you know you’re doing it for a good reason. Sometimes, advice may come off as being harsh so we should try as much as possible to be gentle in passing and receiving it. Always use the correct tone. Always have gentleness in your speech when you are rectifying others.

In the same vein, advice coming across as harsh doesn’t change the fact that what is being said could be true. It is for the believing Muslim to look at what is being said rather than how it’s being said. This is not to say that we should come off as harsh, absolutely not. For Allah ﷻ, when He sent Musa and Harun to Fir’aun- among the worst to ever live, the man who dared to claim to be the lord of people, He said:

فَقُولَا لَهُۥ قَوْلًۭا لَّيِّنًۭا لَّعَلَّهُۥ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَىٰ

“Speak to him gently, so perhaps he may be mindful of Me or fearful of My punishment.” - [Ta-Ha: 44]

Harshness is not a license for rudeness. Receiving advice can be challenging, especially if it highlights shortcomings and the effectiveness of such advice often hinges on the manner of its delivery. However, the hadith reminds us to react like the one who adjusts their appearance in the mirror, not the one who shatters it in denial.

Bye-Line

Let us strive to be mirrors for each other by reflecting honesty while maintaining confidentiality, by not publicizing what we know of people’s faults and defects but also accepting the advice we give each other, by being brave enough to rectify each other’s mistakes but gentle enough to do so in the way of the Prophet ﷺ.

May Allah ﷻ guide us to act upon the teachings of the Qur'an and Sunnah, and strengthen the bonds of our brotherhood. Aameen.